here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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