Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
