so explain again why im purple
no
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize