Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
