That's intense
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
