Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
