So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
