i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
