Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I stole a fireplace last night.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
