so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
