I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize