Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize