that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
