Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
