You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Randomize
