hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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