dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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