HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
