doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
