help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
