I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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