why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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