you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
