Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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