I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
