WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Randomize
