I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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