Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
