I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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