"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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