This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize