Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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