hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
