there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
