You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
