The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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