I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
