Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
