And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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