i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I want to make a zoo with you.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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