Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
