So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
