bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
