it wasn't lemon gatorade
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
