I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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