normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Hello my rib-scented angel!
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize