Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
