I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
You can't special order awesome
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
