I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
