my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize