WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
