My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
