If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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