He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
