I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
