Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
