So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize