Say something about gay babies.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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