She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
