If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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