Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
