i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
