we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
