He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
