OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
