But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
