I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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