I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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