I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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