it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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